Mourning Diary - Pg 119

   To think, to know that maman is dead forever, completely ("completely," which is inconceivable without violence and without one's being able to abide by such a thought at length), is to think, letter by letter (literally, and simultaneously), that I too will die forever and completely.
   There is then, in mourning (in this kind of mourning, which is mine), a radical and new domestication of death; for previously, it was only a borrowed knowledge (clumsy, had from others, from philosophy, etc.),but now it is my knowledge. It can hardly do me any more harm than my mourning.