WHERE'D YOU GO, BERNADETTE - MARIA SEMPLE

Where'd You Go, Bernadette - Pg 314

   (This is why you must love life: one day you're offering up your social security number to the Russia Mafia; two weeks later you're using the word calve as a verb.)

Where'd You Go, Bernadette - Pg 268

   I was alone with the rumbling of the engine, the tinkling of the hangers, and the opening and closing of drawers. It was just me and time. It was like when we had a backstage tour at the ballet, and I saw the hundreds of weighted ropes, the bank of video monitors, and the light board with one thousand lighting cues, which were all used for one small scenery change. I was lying there on the bed, seeing the backstage of time, how slowly it went, everything it's made up of, which is nothing. The walls were dark blue carpet on the bottom, then a metal strip, then shiny wood, and then beige plastic to the ceiling. And I thought, What horrible colors, they might kill me, I have to close my eyes. But even the effort of that seemed impossible. So, like the ballet stage manager, I pulled one rope in my brain, then the other, then five more, which closed my eyelids. My mouth hung open, but no words came out, just a crackly moan. If there were words to it, what they would say was, Anything but this.

Where'd You Go, Bernadette - Pg 266

   The mean boys huddled nearby, looking over, hoping my mom wouldn't rat them out to their moms. Mom called to them, "That's really original, I wish I'd thought of that." I can pinpoint that as the single happiest moment of my life, because I realized then that Mom would always have my back. It made me feel giant. I raced back down the concrete ramp, faster than I ever had before, so fast I should have fallen, but I didn't fall, because Mom was in the world.

Where'd You Go, Bernadette - Pg 199

   I felt so full of love for everything. But at the same time, I felt so hung out to dry there, like nobody could ever understand. I felt so alone in this world, and so loved at the same time.

Where'd You Go, Bernadette - Pg 199

   Maybe that's what religion is, hurling yourself off a cliff and trusting that something bigger will take care of you and carry you to the right place.

Where'd You Go, Bernadette - Pg 147

   "Nobody ever goes to the Space Needle restaurant!" she shrieked. Which is true, because even though it's at the top and it revolves—which should make it the only restaurant you'd ever go to—it's totally touristy and the food is expensive.

Where'd You Go, Bernadette - Pg 135

   So why didn't I switch schools? The other good schools I could have sent Bee to... well, to get to them, I'd have to drive past a Buca di Beppo. I hated my life enough without having to drive past a Buca di Beppo four times a day.

Where'd You Go, Bernadette - Pg 133

   I can feel the irrationality and anxiety draining my store of energy like a battery-operated racecar grinding away in the corner. This is energy I will need to get through the next day. But I just lie in bed and watch it burn, and with it any hope for a productive tomorrow. There go the dishes, there goes the grocery store, there goes exercise, there goes bringing in the garbage cans. There goes basic human kindness.

Where'd You Go, Bernadette - Pg 126

   It turns out, the whole time in L.A., Elgie was just a guy in socks searching for a carpeted, fluorescent-lit hallway in which to roam at all hours of the night.

Where'd You Go, Bernadette - Pg 122

Paul,
   Greetings from sunny Seattle, where women are "gals," people are "folks," a little bit is a "skosh," if you're tired you're "logy," if something is slightly off it's "hinky," you can't sit Indian-style but you can sit "crisscross applesauce," when the sun comes out it's never called "sun" but always "sunshine," boyfriends and girlfriends are "partners," nobody swears but someone occasionally might "drop the f-bomb," you're allowed to cough but only into your elbow, and any request, reasonable or unreasonable, is met with "no worries."
   Have I mentioned how much I hate it here?

Where'd You Go, Bernadette - Pg 70

   In case you were wondering: Bernadette Fox is walking around Seattle in the middle of winter wearing a fishing vest.
   See you in class.