King Dork - Pg 16

   "The first word is 'bête noire,'" he said. But he pronounced it "bait noir-ay," with the emphasis on the "ay."
   "Bait noir-ay," we said in unison.
   "Excellent. Now, class, listen carefully: magnaminious..."
   (We would have to wait till the end of the alphabet before we witnessed Mr. Schtuppe's finest hour. That would be "wanton," which he pronounced like "won ton." The delicious Chinese dumpling often served in soup at the Pacific Rim's finest eating establishments. That's why Sam Hellerman and I will sometimes refer to a sexy girl as a Won Ton Woman.)
   Of course, if I had known how important mispronunciation skills would prove to be in my sex life and in the events that followed, I probably would have paid more attention. But I spent most of the class in my own zone, thinking about the lyrics of Roxy Music's "She Sells" and writing out a track list for Baby Batter's third album, Odd and Even Number.


   Note to self: one of these days, my next band is definitely going to be Beat Noir-ay. First album: Talk Won Ton to Me, You Crazy Asian Superstar. Lots of wok solos.